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masalacouples' LiveJournal:
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| Monday, March 21st, 2011 | 6:40 am
[katyushak]
 |
Finding a wedding photographer for a masala couple getting married in India
I had joined this community some years ago, and I posted a story about how my Indian boyfriend Sudip and I (a Russian-American girl) met each other, started dating, and stayed together despite the fact that his parents were very much against our union. I would love to link back to that post I made initially many years ago, but I am not sure how to find it now. In any case, our story has had a new development: a couple of month ago Sudip proposed to me and now we are engaged to be married. We are planning to have a wedding in Delhi, India, on 19th and 20th of November of 2011. Now I figured that many other members of this group may have already faced the dilemma and my fiance and I are now facing, so I decided to write here and ask for advice: how to plan a wedding in India, when both of us are living in USA, a different country. Sudip's family will be offering us some help in terms of finding and reserving the venue and some major things like that. But they are not happy about this wedding - they have accepted it, but not happy that their son is marrying a non-Indian girl - so we cannot rely on their help for everything. One of the questions we have been facing recently is how to find a good wedding photographer in India. We would like to find a talented photographer for our wedding that would not be too expensive. A lot of the high-end expensive photo studios in India have nice websites that display a beautiful array of pictures, however, when you send them an e-mail and ask about price, you find out that they charge $3,000-$4,000 dollars (after converting to US currency) for a day of wedding photography and that is just way out of our budget. On the other hand, some Indian friends have suggested wedding photographers who cost $200-$400 US dollars, but after looking at their wedding pictures I was very disappointed to see that the photographer is not very talented - just a man with a big SLR camera as opposed to being a true artist of capturing the moment. So I decided to write a post here and ask for your advice. Maybe you have had the experience of planning for a wedding in a different country and finding a wedding photographer for it? How did you search and where did you look? Are there any resources that would be helpful? Any help would be greatly appreciated! | | Tuesday, June 15th, 2010 | 10:53 am
[laxmi76]
 |
Some observations on my interracial marriage since moving to Indiana
I posted this entry in my personal journal, but thought I would include it here since it relates to this community. Would be curious of others observations on this as well! :-) I don't even think twice about being in an interracial relationship. When I look at my husband, I simply see my soul mate - not the color of his skin. I tend to forget that I am now in Indiana, a place where these kinds of relationships may not be as typical as they are in San Jose. Over the weekend, my husband wanted to get his hair cut. We've been trying to find a place that can do a decent job. We're both a bit picky when it comes to getting our hair cut, so after a few tries I finally found a place that wasn't too bad a few weeks ago and suggested he try the same place. We walked in and the people remembered us. When S went back to get his hair cut, the owner of the shop started talking to me. Somehow our conversation turned to how long S has been here, where he's from, how we met which led to the fact that we're married. The owner seemed surprised by this. I found that odd considering we both have the same last name and have come to the shop together. LOL I wasn't offended or anything by his surprise, I just found it interesting that it's possible that when people look at us, they may not even realize we're a couple simply because we're different colors. Other things I've observed since moving here is people tend to remember us. Probably because there aren't too many white/Indian couples, we stand out? On the plus side, since people remember us, we usually get friendly greetings which is nice. The people at LA fitness are always nice and talk to us when we come in. People from church recognize us and usually say hi. It's just interesting that being in a relationship like this gets us more attention - even though we're both just people. The funny thing? S is more like me than most American men I have met or dated. It took someone from the other side of the world to be my match. I've always never really felt I fit into the American Culture since things can be just so extreme sometimes. I'm a very open-minded person, but do tend to be on the more conservative side of things. I'm very close with my family and in fact - my parents are probably my best friends outside of my hubby and of course moon who's been my friend since 1st grade! When it comes to family morals, I tend to have a more "Indian" way of thinking and actually don't mind when family members from India come and stay for months at a time. I think many Americans would find this odd or even intrusive. We've been talking about starting a family and it's a given that we'll have one of S's family members come and stay to help us for the first few months now that we have a house and space to have people stay with us long term. This doesn't bother me in the least. I know other "masala couples" who struggle with this. I guess it just depends on if you like your in-laws or not. Luckily mine are more open-minded for Indians so we've gotten a lot of support over the years. S and I like to think we're creating our own little blend of American and Indian cultures since it's important to keep both cultures alive in our marriage. Current Mood:  okay | | Saturday, November 21st, 2009 | 8:43 am
[bengalibangla]
 |
Forum for indian+foreigner couples
Hello to everyone. I'm a russian woman married an indian man. One week ago i found a nice forum for indian+foreigner couples. It is in english and i'm sure it'll be useful for all of us. This forum is 3-4 years old but i found it last week only. Hope to see you all there. www.bharat.invisionplus.net | | Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 | 12:49 am
[parallelwaves] |
| | Sunday, May 3rd, 2009 | 1:26 pm
[mudr_sava]
 |
visiting Delhi in June - how difficult in physical sense can it be?
Hello, masalacouples! i am a russian 26y.o girl, now living in europe and dating an indian man, who moved to europe some years ago. I have a questions to those who have visited India during summer time. This June me and my indian boyfriend are going to Delhi to spend some time with his family and he as well as me is very concerned about how i will feel there. I do understand that it would be extremely hot there so i need some pieces of advice about what can help me to feel better there. May be you had such an experience and had some problems that you managed/ did not manage to solve - it may be some physical things, cultural, how to dress, what to take with me and any other issues. I would really appreciate your comments, suggestions and advice. Thanks in advance | | Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009 | 9:20 pm
[poptopia]
 |
Happy Belated Birthday MasalaCouples!
Hi everyone, I'm more than a month late to post this, but wanted to wish the group and all its members a Happy Birthday to celebrate the inception of this community! MC was formed on Livejournal in March 2004. At the end of that month we had just 25 members. Five years later, here we are today with 228 members from all over the globe. Thank you all for opening up your lives to share your experiences, stories, happiness and sometimes heartache to share with others in the Masala Couples community. Current Mood:  chipper | 8:59 pm
[jesuisgringoire]
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silly question
hi there. I'm single, so I hope that doesn't make this off topic, but I'm looking for opinions: I'm gay. question 1) native Nepalese guy, only been in the US a few years. we bonded over homework and a shared interest in desi culture. I taught him to swim, he stayed at my house over a school break, I've driven him to job interviews, gone with him to scholarship/financial aid meetings, etc...at one point we ended up discussing Urdu love poetry while he...played footsie with me? was he flirting? I know a lot of other cultures are more touchy-feely than americans when it comes to same-sex friendships, so I assumed it was nothing, but I've had a giant crush on the boy for a while that just got renewed at a Nepalese New Year party, so I'm curious. not holding my breath, but curious. he's been incredibly sweet, defended me in public, invited me to that party last week, etc...I've been giving him a lot of space since I don't want him to think I'm hitting on him and make him uncomfortable (since he probably is straight), so our friendship is in this weird... I really like him but I suspect he thinks I'm avoiding him/ don't care much about him state due to my shyness / the nature of gay *and* inter-racial relationships. blah. I suck at non-romantic male intimacy even with other white people (most of my friends are girls), so I'm really completely clueless here. this whole time I barely talk to him without our mutual female friend initiating it, and I have no idea how to communicate the fact that yes, he is an important person in my life, I care about him, and I would totally date him. since it's "safe" and I don't feel like I'm being forward, I ended up doing a lot of homework-help, networking, help-you-get-oriented stuff for him (since I don't know how else to hang out with the guy without it being awkward) but I'm afraid this is more some weird mentor or big brother relationship (though he is older than me) than communicating that I think he is both a great friend and very attractive. I'm afraid I'd totally wig him out if I said anything. blah. question 2) in the event that I ended up going steady with a desi guy, (not holding out for the guy in #1...doubt he's interested) can I expect to ever be accepted by his family? I am a vegetarian, pantheist Goddess worshiper with a mild obsession for Ramprasad Sen, Tagore, Hindu philosophy, Indian classical dance...I'm learning Bansuri and Indian cooking...going into medicine...meh. realistically, none of would matter and I would still be the evil white homo who stole their son, yes? are there any same-sex "masala couples" out there who ended up with accepting families? again, i'm not even dating anyone right now, so it's not the end of the world, but I have so much more in common with desi guys than meat-eating secular/christian white guys. question 3) is it a bad thing I do tend to prefer south asian men? did any of you sort of look for an interracial relationship, due to cultural interests/personal preference, or was it just sort of kismet? I guess it's sort of natural for me to look to other cultures since my own (evangelical christian) pretty much rejects me, but I don't want to come off as some creepy weirdo with a fetish. I'm crushing on this guy because he's sweet/intelligent/amazing, not because he's from Nepal (though that certainly helps). *sigh* thanks for listening. | | Wednesday, April 8th, 2009 | 10:49 am
[s0451833]
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question
I know this is a little off topic, and I could delete it if you want, but I was wondering if there is a place I can order bangles and kurtis online? I've adopted alot of Indian fashion in my waredrobe since being with an Indian. I don't see myself going to India anytime soon, and I do ask my friends to bring me items back when they go, but I'd like to order some of my own. I have my bangle size..any suggestions? Thanks :) | | Monday, March 30th, 2009 | 7:04 pm
[gujushorty712]
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interfaith relationships
Hi Everyone, I was wondering how you all manage your interfaith relationships. I am Hindu (not very religious) and am dating a Catholic and wonder about our future. We discussed raising children w/ both faiths and having them choose, but it seems easier said than done. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. I'm mostly looking for opinions from people who are dealing with differences between Eastern and Western religions. Thanks | | Sunday, March 29th, 2009 | 3:17 pm
[parallelwaves] |
Bad interracial dating experiences?
Although this group focuses mainly on positive interracial relationships - have you ever had a BAD interracial dating experience? What made it a negative experience? | | Wednesday, February 11th, 2009 | 12:49 pm
[shiala]
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| | Saturday, February 7th, 2009 | 8:24 pm
[parallelwaves] |
Interest in significant other's culture?
To all those in masala relationships - how much interest does your significant other show in your culture? Is he/she indifferent to the traditions that you follow, or chooses to revel in them (sometimes even more so than you)? How important is it (for you) for your s/o to value your culture/traditions/family as much as you do? | | Tuesday, January 6th, 2009 | 12:33 pm
[coffeeteajess] |
I wish I had found resources like this in the beginning of my relationship!
Just a quick note to say how amazed I am to have finally found so many great resources for people in intercultural relationships, particularly those in Indian/American relationships. I am an American gal married to an Indian guy. We have 2 small children. We've been together for almost 5 years. I have a blog about being in this intercultural relationship called Coffee and Tea- Musings of a Western Gal Married to an Eastern Guy (<a href=" http://www.eastwestmarriageblog.com">). I look forward to participating in discussions on this forum and hope you'll come check out my blog. Thanks, Jessica | | Saturday, January 3rd, 2009 | 4:27 am
[parallelwaves] |
happy new year! + a random post about interracial unions
hi everyone! :) i'm a 19 year old pakistani muslim girl, currently studying in university in canada. by chance, i landed into a relationship with my (white, christian) boyfriend of 11 months when i was in first year. when we first started dating, i knew i was immediately attracted to him and really came to like him as a person, but our differences have carried a consistent fear at the back of my head. our relationship is fairly new (and a fairly alien concept since i haven't dated many guys at all) but it's safe to say we're presented with an onslaught of challenges that many young same-race, same-religion couples around me don't have to face. it was refreshing to see a community of couples that have unions just like ours - except are able to thankfully celebrate them in more committed ways :) my family is a strange mixture of traditional, conservative (in the religious sense) and liberal (in the secular sense). i've seen my share of interracial/interreligious marriages on both my dad's and mom's side - but not all of them have been met with open arms. never any strong resistance, just a bitter aftertaste in a lot of people's mouths that probably shouldn't exist. out of curiosity, in your own relationship, is there any one thing that irks you about what other people close to you have perceived of you/your relationship/partner? or just interracial relationships in general? i think by far, the generalization that you're in an interracial relationship automatically means that you have no sense (or pride) of your own identity has always troubled me. being in love with someone who looks different than you does not mean that you think your culture or people of your own race are inferior. | | Sunday, December 28th, 2008 | 11:05 am
[soul_inside]
 |
Pregnant and I want to go to India
I am not one half of a masalacouple. But all my life I have been in love with India. I am however in an interacial/intercultural relationship, just not from one with Indian descent. My question, however, I hope you can accept, and I feel that it may be something of interest to masala couples. And really, I don't know where else to ask. Here is my question: I am pregnant and I want to visit to India for 3-4 weeks. What's your advice? Here is some background info: I am American, I have never visited India before. I am only 7 weeks along and will go, if I can, in January. I have already had all my vaccinations- Hep A. Hep. B. Typhoid, Meningitus.. from a previous trip to Egypt. I will be going alone, but part of the trip I will spend with a yoga organization that I am a part of. I have traveled alone to many countries, I have black hair and look non-American- I blend in very well to the dominant culture. I'm 27 years old. I would likely be going to the capital of Orissa, New Delhi and neighboring attractions, possibly Bangalore, and possibly but unlikely unless I can cram it in, somewhere farther south. I am quite bent on going. ... this was an unplanned pregancy, I was going to go to India for three months and teach at a balashram in the countryside, but that is out of the question now, especially since the closest hospital is 2 hours away. I really want to see this dream of going to India out I couldn't think of anything more blessed for 2009 than to see India in Jan/Feb. and have my baby in August. Thanks for reading, thanks for the advice. Aalia Eli **edit: I figured it might be beneficial to specify the kind of advice I want. That is, staying healthy predominantly. If you think it is possible to stay relatively healthy in India for 3-4 weeks. If you think I would be being completely irresponsible to go. If you think I could most likely stay healthy with proper precautions, and what those precautions are. I am in excellent health, and rarely get sick. On other international trips I haven't ever gotten more than the runs. | | Saturday, December 6th, 2008 | 11:34 pm
[s0451833]
|
I have to say and I'm sorry but I'm jealous of all you guys who've gotten to work out. I've wanted it to work out for so long but he isn't a fan of drama and doesn't want to start drama. It hurts so much and I've become so adapt to the Indian culture, it's going to be so hard to erase it from my life. | | Friday, November 21st, 2008 | 11:29 am
[ameena_acidz]
 |
The LEGENDARY Wedding
I am a little nervous about posting again, but I know some of you would like to share in our happiness! Daniel and I got married just shy of a month ago in San Antonio. We didn't have a traditional any type of wedding, but it was amazingly beautiful and simple. We got married by a good friend of mine, who is a Buddhist minister (neither Dan nor I are religious, but Buddhism in philosophy, is a lifestyle we both are attuned with...we're kind of hippie-like). And in a positive light, reflecting my last post here, my mother and sister did attend. My sister was actually HAPPY for me! About two weeks before the wedding, she called me to tell me that she realized that it's not necessary to marry someone your parents' approve because of race, but because that man truly cares about you. She apparently learned from experience. Here's a teaser to tempt you to click on the link below (one of my favorite photos):  You can see more pictures here! | | Thursday, November 6th, 2008 | 8:35 pm
[s0451833]
|
question
Did any of you have to keep asking your other to tell their parents? I feel like I am harrassing him to tell his parents already. They have to have some sort of idea. I'll be there pretty much every weekend when they come down to visit. I don't want to be annoying but I just want him to tell them already. | | Sunday, October 19th, 2008 | 11:15 pm
[chrys20]
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Scrolling thru the previous entries it seems that many couples here seem bent on getting married even though they are quite young(early twenties). What's the rush? If I'm being presumptuous apologies, that is just my Euro-desi(continent, not island) upbringing talkin' :-) | | Friday, October 17th, 2008 | 5:34 pm
[prakriti]
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oops
I completely forgot its karwa chauth. Husband didn't forget though and is fasting in sympathy! oops :-) anyone else fasting today? |
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